William’s phone buzzed. He picked it up from the charging station on the bedside table and stared at the screen. “Oh my.” It was 7:00 am on the nose. 

The text from Ashley simply said, “Call me asap.”

William had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t going to be good news. He knew that after dinner Ashley had sent his draft meeting plan, family mission statement and confidentiality statement to Marcus for approval. Without hesitating, William called Ashley. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” she said.

“Okay, give me the news – did Marcus flip his lid?”

“Flipping his lid is not how I would describe his response to my email last night. It was more like restrained seething. After throwing a bit of a tantrum in an email to Stephen and me, he seemed to calm down. You’re not going to believe it, but Steve actually saved the day.”

“How so?”
“By responding to Marcus with an email of his own,” Ashley explained, “that simply said it was he who should have distributed the meeting plan earlier. He explained that his involvement in the litigation with Marcus’s brother had consumed and distracted him. He said that what was now being proposed for the family meeting was simply best practices, that it was essential for avoiding a costly and public family estate litigation down the road and apologized for the last-minute changes.”

“Really?” William was a bit confused. 

“That’s right, you heard me correctly. Steve fell on his sword.”

“I guess you paying for dinner last night turned out to be a smart idea after all,” said William.

“We’ll see. We’re not out of the woods yet. Remember, we’re dealing with a grandiose narcissist who has spent a lifetime dividing his family. Half of them are in a trauma bond with this man and are terrified of his outrageous temper, half have been manipulated to believe he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, and half are in recovery and have erected boundaries to protect themselves from his toxic behavior.”

“That’s three halves.” 

Ashley laughed. “Cut me some slack, it was a late night, a restless sleep and an early morning, and I’m three cups of joe behind schedule.”

“Ditto. I need to catch up. No one likes an under-caffeinated speaker. I’m going to get showered and get to the meeting room at 7:30 – I’ll meet you there. Sound like a plan?“Perfect. See you shortly.”

William showered, dressed and made his way to the elevator, the plush hallway carpet absorbing every footstep. After he pressed the button, he could hear the cables clanking. The doors opened and he stepped in. William had read in the in-room bumf that the Waldorf Astoria was built in 1893 and stood as a testament to the splendor and opulence of the Gilded Age. The hotel also reminded him how something old could remain oddly appealing to those with new wealth, but he had been happy to observe after he arrived that the elevators had been included in the recent refurbishment. While William liked his hotels old and refined, he did like his elevators new and well-maintained

.After ascending to the top floor, William stepped out of the elevator, turned right and caught his first panoramic view of Central Park and the East River. Following the signs, William located the boardroom marked “M.R. Meeting.” M.R. – Marcus Rothbearn. Discretion was what you purchased from the Waldorf, William noted.

William’s first order of business was to find the coffee. In the corner opposite the door of the opulent boardroom, a hotel staffer was laying out pastries and fruit.

“Good morning; how are you?” said William.

“Good morning, sir,” said the server. 

Noticing that the worker did not have a name tag on his lapel, William introduced himself and asked, “Your name is…?”

“Raffi, sir.”

“I’m wondering, Raffi, if your team could locate a few items that I need for our meeting.” “Absolutely, sir. Let me get my supervisor.”

Less than a minute later, a young woman entered through the room’s staff entrance and introduced herself as Selena, the corporate concierge manager.

After exchanging pleasantries, William asked Selena if she could bring a flipchart and two colors of markers. “Red and black would be ideal. Also, could you bring pads of paper and pens for each seat? We’ll have a total of 13 people. And could you remove the extra chairs around the boardroom?” William didn’t want empty seats between any of the attendees.

“Of course,” replied Selena. She departed briskly.

It was too late to order a round table, so the only way to flatten the hierarchy in the room and democratize it, William thought, would be for him to sit at the head of the table and remove the chair from the opposite end. William knew that if this family meeting turned into the Marcus Rothbearn Show, the family would likely never agree to another family meeting. William also knew that when Marcus walked in and saw that the power seat at head of the table was occupied, Marcus would know exactly whom he was dealing with – someone intent on diminishing the power and control he had over his family.

As William placed his papers and his coffee cup at the head of the table, Ashley walked into the room. She took one look at where William was sitting and said, “You have got to be kidding. You’ve got some big…”

“Don’t say it! I know what I’m doing, Ashley. Remember, my job is to get a family through their first meeting. I won’t be here for the next one. Think of me as the blunt instrument of family meetings. Steve may have fallen on his sword last night over the last-minute changes to the meeting plan, but now it’s my turn. Let me absorb Marcus’s wrath over the design and execution of this meeting.”

“Okay…”

“That said, I need you to sit to my left and Steve to my right. That will leave five Rothbearns on one side of the table facing five on the other side. That is as democratic and egalitarian as I can make the room.”

“Okay,” Ashely repeated. “It’s your show.”

Three uniformed workers arrived and stacked several chairs. One of them counted what remained and rearranged them around the table. The staff departed with the surplus.

“Look,” William continued, “there simply won’t be a next meeting if Marcus runs this meeting like a corporate board meeting.”

“Well, we’ll find out in about 30 minutes whether Marcus has full-blown narcissist personality disorder, or if he’s someone who has narcissistic traits and is on the spectrum or someone who has simply been difficult in the past and is capable of change. No one can say that our work is dull and without surprises.”

“Indeed,” agreed William. “I’ve obviously never met the man and with that pearl of wisdom, I’m going to treat him without prejudice or favor for what I’ve learned about him or the wealth he has amassed. At the end of the day, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you and me.”

“To borrow your phrase, I can’t unsee that,” said Ashley, laughing.

William wasn’t sure if Ashley was referring to him or Marcus and wasn’t in a hurry to find out. Switching the subject, he asked, “Did you touch base with Steve? Will he be here shortly?”

“He texted five minutes ago and said he was just leaving his room,” said Ashley. No sooner had she finished her sentence than Steve walked in the door.

“Good morning, soldiers,” he said. “Are we ready for battle?”

“Ready as we can be,” said William. “And before you say another word I appreciate what you did last night. Ashley told me you took one for the team.”

“Willy my boy, I’m a litigator. I’m paid to be despised. It’s who I am; it’s how I bounce.”

“Okay, well, bounce your way over there and grab yourself a coffee and some carbs,” said William, pointing in the direction of the food.

“By the way, nice choice of seats,” said Steve. “Do you have a death wish – are you feeling suicidal? Marcus will come uncorked when he sees that this is your meeting and not his to run.”

“I don’t think he will. I’m counting on something Ashley said last night at dinner.” 

“Oh-oh. What was that?” said Ashley.

“I think that Tina is the key to keeping a lid on Marcus today. If she walks through the door with him, I’m counting on the fact that he has not revealed his true self – that the mask is still on and that he’ll contain his rage for fear of losing wife number three. I mean, wife number four sounds a bit creepy, kind of like a public declaration that you have a problem, or rather that you are the problem.”

“Are we still on for $100 that you can get the family to agree to another family meeting?” asked Steve.

Two more staffers had arrived. One was distributing notepads while the other quickly set up the flip chart near the head of the table and then addressed the group, “Excuse me. Is anything else required?”

“No, this is perfect. And thank you so much for taking care of this so quickly.” William turned back to Steve. “Oh, it’s game on. “Not only will I get them to agree, but I’m going to get Katherine, the missing G-2, to agree to attend as well. Double or nothing – you in?”

“Boys,” said Ashley, “a little professionalism, shall we?”

As the words left her mouth, the three of them turned toward the door as they heard the sounds of a group of people approaching – one in particular had a booming voice. Ashley shot William a look, eyebrow raised. “Here we go.”

First to walk through the door was Tina, followed by Peter and then Marcus. Ashley was the first to speak. “Welcome, all. Marcus, Tina, Peter, I’d like you to meet William Cartwright, our meeting facilitator.”

Tina shook William’s hand and offered a warm smile that seemed genuine. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, William. I read your book Willing Wisdom and really enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to hearing you speak.” 

“Thank you. It’s a pleasure to meet you too, and I’m glad you enjoyed the book. Please help yourself to coffee” – he gestured toward the spread – “and a little breakfast if you like.”

Peter stepped forward, extended his hand and offered what could only be described as a limp handshake. “A pleasure to meet you.”

Remembering that Ashley had described Peter as the golden child who deferred to his father, William said, “Peter, it’s a real pleasure to meet you as well.”Finally, the moment of truth. William pivoted to his right and took the lead, extending his hand in Marcus’s direction.

At a towing six-foot-three, Marcus had to look down to meet William’s gaze. Marcus extended his hand. William noticed that the palm of Marcus’s hand was angled ever so slightly downward, forcing William to angle his palm upward to meet Marcus’s grip. Fascinating, William thought. We haven’t said one word and he already has the upper hand. “Marcus,” was all the patriarch offered.

William matched Marcus with an equally banal, “William,” but added, “again, please help yourself to coffee while we wait for the others to arrive.”

William had met hundreds of imposing, wealthy, famous and successful men. He knew that in the first moments of meeting someone there is a rapid assessment of weakness or strength. William’s matching of Marcus’s energy would make Marcus’s assessment of him more difficult.

William needed to project a polite indifference to the “great Marcus.” Fawning over the wealthy businessman with small talk right out of the gate would only empower him to control the meeting and tighten his grip over his family’s future – something William knew would serve neither Marcus, his children nor his grandchildren. This family meeting was going to be about Marcus loosening his grip on his family relationships and his wealth. For all to go well, all of this must look and feel like it was Marcus’s idea.

Just as William finished shaking hands with Marcus, all six grandchildren entered the room, along with Sandra, the other G-2. Marcus turned and, as if someone had flipped a switch, lit up like a Christmas tree. William watched, fascinated. Marcus’s indifference to his son and daughter stood in stark contrast to the almost over-the-top warmth he showed his grandchildren. But the most interesting part was that Marcus moved directly to meet one grandchild in particular, the tallest and clearly the oldest of the grandchildren. Ah! There he is, thought William, the super-empath, the person who had made the meeting happen. William remembered Ashley explaining that narcissists often target super-empaths because they are the easiest to manipulate and control. Their kindness is viewed as a vulnerability that feeds their abuser’s ego.

William quickly stepped toward the group of grandchildren and introduced himself. He encouraged everyone to help themselves to a pastry and fruit and to then have a seat. The seven-year-old, Tanner, made a beeline for the food.

William moved in the direction of Steve and Ashley and quietly asked them to take their seats before anyone could stake out their ground to the left and right of William at the head of the table.

As William was settling into his chair, he looked up to see Marcus placing his papers to the left of Ashley, who was sitting to William’s left. Marcus’s cold eyes met William’s – he was not happy. And then Marcus did the unexpected.

“William, how’s your coffee? Care for more?” he asked.

Oh, I’m good, thank you.”

And there was the first clue to how Marcus operated inside his family: a hint of charm. But nothing he did or said was as it appeared – the game in the game in the game, and no one played it better than a narcissist.

After everyone had settled into their seats, Ashley smiled at Tanner, who was carefully managing his heaping plate of jelly Danishes and strawberries, before she spoke.

“Good morning. It is so good to see everyone. We have a full meeting planned for today and our guest speaker, William Cartwright, has asked me to be the time-keeper so things don’t go on too long. You all have today’s agenda in front of you. First, I’d like to reintroduce Stephen Walker, whom I know you have all met. Steve will be taking the minutes of the meeting, which will be circulated to everyone. So let me introduce William Cartwright. I’m sure you have all read his bio, which was included with your meeting package. William will be chairing today’s meeting.”

“What’s a bio?” asked Tanner. “Did I get a package?”

“A bio is a few sentences that tell us about someone. It’s okay that you haven’t read it because I’m sure your mom did,” Ashley explained. “By the way highlights, William is a New York Times best-selling author and speaker on the subject of intergenerational wealth transfers. He has presented to hundreds of families in settings just like this all around the world. I don’t want to steel William’s thunder so with that – William, the meeting is yours.”

“Thank you, Ashley, and thank you, Steve, for making this meeting happen. I always like to start with gratitude because there are so many families – indeed families with even greater wealth than yours – who are not meeting today, who didn’t meet yesterday and who have no plans to meet tomorrow. That you have gathered today as a family to think, dream and plan for the transition of family wealth makes you the one percent of the one percent. This, of course, is my way of saying that someone in this room has a gift and a vision – one that is extremely rare and special. And what makes that person exceptional is that they understand that creating wealth is hard, keeping it is harder and transferring it successfully to the next generation and next and the next is even harder still.

“As someone who has studied and written extensively on the subject of generational wealth, I’ve learned one unassailable fact: you can’t take it with you. The ancient Egyptian pharaohs tried by burying their gold in their tombs – it did not travel well,” William said with a chuckle. Wealth is always moving in the direction of someone. Today you begin your collective journey to answer the questions of how, when and to whom your wealth will transition. The answers to these questions reside in this room.

“Now before I go much further I’d like to make one comment about my involvement in your family meeting process.” He paused to sip his coffee and to bring some drama to the moment. “This will be the first and only time I will meet with you. If I do my job well today, I will show you how you can continue to work with Ashley and Stephen and other experts to use your family meetings to ensure that everyone in this family is seen and heard. Including you!” William bowed slightly toward young Tanner, who was in mid-bite on a cherry Danish. Tanner froze and his eyes widened as everyone looked at him, and then William moved on. “If I do my job well today, I’ll show you how your trusted advisors can help transition the wealth created by Marcus and others in this family in a smooth and transparent way that builds family connections and deepens relationships. Can I have a quick show of hands if you agree that the world does not need another Netflix series that mocks a family of significance, a family like this one gathered here today?” And with that, William raised his own hand as if to lead the room in their vote.

Everyone in the room followed – victory, thought William, the first unanimous democratic vote by the Rothbearn family.

William caught a fleeting glance from Marcus, who allowed a wry smile to be seen by all – Marcus knew exactly what William was doing. William knew at that moment that the Rothbearns would agree to meet again. He looked to his right and saw Steve smiling because he knew he had just lost his bet with William.